Ponder

Katie Price's Modern Fairytale Leads Vintage Crop Of Celebrity Books For Kids

Despite stiff competition, especially from Danny Dyer's 'Tommy the Nonce-Catcher' Trilogy, we just fell in love with Katie's inspirational 'The Little Girl Who Didn't Have Tits'.

Read the full review in Ponder. Plus:
Feign intellectual prowess with a Culture Caddy portable opinion interface.

Be

That's The ShitE-tiquette!

Ever accidentally stolen a pen, impulse-bought a pellet gun or punched a bishop? Nightmare! London Shite's Etiquette Panel are here to make sure our readers can make the all right choices in all the wrong situations...

Get clued up in Be. Plus:
Paul Scholes? Krishnan Guru-Murthy? Get a good whiff of fame with London Shite's top five celebrity perfumes.
Pre-order the London Shite book!

Eat

Treat The Kids To A Day Of Full-On Butchery At Uncle Hugh's New Meat Wonderland

Determined to prove there really isn't more to life than slaying farmland animals, HF-W has excelled himself with a kid-focussed 'slaughterpark'.

Get knee deep in Eat. Plus:
Time Team. Loose Women. Ross Kemp on Gangs. Are TV-themed cookbooks changing the way we eat? And what is life like on the day-to-day diet of a Traffic Cop?

Watch

London Shite Reviews The Hottest New Games In Town

Monsters, witches and warlocks get warm and comfy in 'World of Woolcraft', while Mavis Beacon gets her students all hot and sweaty in 'Look But Don't Touch Typing'.

Get yourself some RSI in Watch. Plus:
TV Budgets: As BBC One spends £4m on 'Harmless Banter Tap' to replace Adrian Chiles on 'The One Show', we find out where else all the money goes.

Know

Now You Too Can Play God With The C of E's New Fantasy Synod

This addictively interactive game puts you in charge of your very own Synod, but will you spend your £100m wisely?

Start annointing in Know. Plus:
Mini-terviews: Fancy six seconds with Robert Mugabe? Four seconds with Miquita Oliver? Or one second with Dougie Heard? All attention spans catered for.
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Take Flight

Yes We Afri-CAN! A Heartening Glance At Post-Live8 Africa

We can all remember where we were that hot day in July 2005 when the worlds of music and celebrity finally rang the death knell for global poverty. But what happened to 'Africa' - the region we were all working really hard to save?

Get well informed in Take Flight. Plus:
Benevolent Crusades: Just about to leave university and ashamed you haven't been to the Middle East?

Sweat

Unlock The Joys Of This Baffling Sport With Our No-Nonsense Guide

Can't tell your Quarter Back from your Double Intruder? Always forgetting how many action-event points constitute a phase? Despite leaving most Europeans quite baffled, the rules of the game are actually relatively simple.

Unleash the Vortex in Sweat. Plus:
Sports enthusiasts! Prepare yourself for any potential grief demonstration with all-new 'Black Armbands'. Sleek in design, rich in emotional symbolism.