BE
SOCIAL NEWS: CHANNEL ISLAND CARE LATEST
Cartoon villains found in Jersey's midst
Inspectors from the mainland discover archaic fantasy-land in historically backward island
Those found so far include...
Sloth from The Goonies
Was found riding a cow in an abondoned playground.
Was believed by locals to secrete special milk.
Mrs Snitchnose from Bangers and Mash
Fearful of her spells, locals had not been to her cottage for decades.
Cyril Sneer from The Racoons
Despite his cruelty, Sneer's financial acumen had made him the island's Keeper of the Purse for three terms
Baron Silas Greenback from Dangermouse
Worshipped as a god in the east of the island
NOT BEING (ANYMORE)
Fans turn on Ledger after "boring, pointless death"
Heath Ledger's memory came under massive srutiny last night after his most adoring fans announced their "anger" and "shame" at the star's uneventful demise.
A joint statment from the webmasters at www.ledgerthelegend.com announced that the site would be closed down and its users' bawdy emotions would be transferred to a more "exciting" celebrity.
ABOVE: Kylie Dashell from ledgerthelegend.com wasted no time in telling Ledger's fmily what she thought about his "pussy" death.
THE HISTORY
OF
PODCASTS
a ten part journey telling the history of the noughties greatest time-filler.
Episode 1: Podcasts - what are they all about?
Narrated by Timothy West
1. Prozac "made out of Skittles" says new research
2. Berocca "chock full of smack" discover scientists
3. Gerry Adams promotes 'IRA Hunger Strike Diet' as part of new US fundraising tour
LONDON SHITE